My Cultural Exhibition Centre-Episode1-"Tianzi" Headdress

“Tianzi” Headdress

Description: Tianzi were headdresses reserved for Manchu Noble Ladies. In the Qing dynasty (1644-1911) royal consorts wore Tianzi headdresses to complement semi-formal dressed when they attended festive or ceremonial occasions.
The Front of a Tianzi is shaped like a crown. While the back resembles an overturned winnow basket. The interior framework ia made of rattan or wire and wrapped with black felt and stain ribbon. The frame is adorned with groups of ornament and the front part stands higher then the back. Decorations mostly feature auspicious motifs in pearl, precious stones or kingfisher feather inlay set on gold or silver filigree.

A conversation of depression between a smart girl and two men

In the hall of a luxrious hotel, one attractive girl who is a Psycology student is sitting with two men. One is her friend David, another is David's friend Paul. Paul is a rich and handsome Italian guy. David is introducing him to the girl. The conversation is going through:

David:"Paul has beening living in this hotel for a long time."

Paul:" Yes, it's just like my second home."

"Oh? What is your first home" the girl asks.

" In Italy."Pau answers.

"With your parents and your own family?"

"En." Paul almost whispers.

David:" Paul is in here by himself."

"Yes, always." Paul emphasizes.

"Lonely?"The girl asks again.

"En......not really. I do not feel lonely by my own already. I know how to enjoy myslef." Paul smiled with pride.

"Woo, how?" The girl feels surprised.

"Well, many ways, go to jym, see some mates..."

"And stay with some pretty girls." David adds.

"Yes, just like you, if I am lucky." Paul is looking at the girl.

The girl faces to paul,"Thanks. So, you are very happy."

"Yes, always."

"Always?" The girl is looking at him and asks" you never feel upset or depressed?"

"No, why you ask like this?"Paul looks surprised.
"Well, I have beening talking to some people recently, they are all sufferring from different level of depression."The girl answers.

" Really?I do not understand why people get depressed?"Paul looked more surprised.
"Me too, why?" David asks.

"Well, as I know, there are various reasons for people to get depressed. Except the genetic depression, basically, is because people do not feel satisfied with things or themselves, or they can not get the things they want."

"Oh, poor thing."Paul and David siad together.

"Yes, poor thing, so in your life, you never get upset or depressed?"the girl seriously asks.

" No, never, I donot allow myself to get upset." Paul seriously answers.

"Ok, I thnik I need to go now, I have more important thing to do." The girl wants to leave.

Paul looks anxious"Oh, please stay, we just met, I expect you could stay longer. Where do you want to go, I can take any place you want to go.Do you like Intilian food?"

"Oh, no, sir, David told me just to see you.I am feeling a bit depressed now.Bye." The girl then left.

Two men is still sitting there, not moving and say a word. But they all looked upset, especially Paul.

Old Emails

Has anyone still kept their previous emails or letters? Maybe keeping some correspondences from year or two years ago.Today is 26th of December 2009, 5 more days to a new year. I believe many people are organising some old staffs , and put them in the rubbish bin if they are useless, just like before you moving to a new house, have to throw out some worthless old staff. But I donot have a good habit to delete some old emails on time like many people do, I always keep them in my email box because I am lazy.

I am sitting in front of my computers, are busying to send some electronic greeting cards, regard words from email to many people I am still contacting with.Sundenly, I realised that I have had already 1,769 emails in my inbox, and 954 in my sent box. I feet curious, then opened those old emails. The oldest one was received on 14/ Aug/2002, which was a birthday regard email from a friend in my home town in China. Haiyan, a nice girl , my first friend, who is one year older than me , grew up in the same town, went to the same school with me. She had a stable life, went to a small college, found a job in the town after graduation, married a men, had a kid. We always kept quite close contact until I left China in 2000. The last email was this birthday greeting email she sent to me, half content of the email was to express her dispointment of her job, husband and the place she lived. I have thanked for her regards and emailed back to her to encourage her not to worry too much, persuaded her should try to communicate to her husband and try to love her job, and so on. She never replied me back after that. I remembered that for a certain period I feel quite sad about losing contact with her, and she seems not to like to contact with me again. Later, I heard from my mom that she quit her job and borrowed some money to Europe to study a law degree, then went back china, moved to an other city with her husband and daughter. I heard she had found a good job, bought a new apartment. Even I had lost contact with her , I still remembered the happy time we spent together in the town and in school.I wish her really happy.

Other friend is a cute guy from Tai wan, we were in the same tour travelling to Shang Hai, he was working there at that time. We had one day trip together in Shang hai, then kept in touch via email. He had sent me email very frenquently, and seems that he was really fonded of me. In 2001, I went to another country, it is too far from him, and I was quite busy to adapt to the new cultural shock. Even he had sent a lot of email to encourage me and also continued showing his interest on me, I felt quiet pressured to handle that. Therefore, I made a good lie, told him that I had a boyfriend already. His response made me quite touching. This is the origin email he sent to me on
5/10/2004:

" It is nice to receive your mail. I envy you that you can stay in Sydney. I think you will make a lot of friend there. I work 13 horus a day. ! If I can get your mail when I am tired . I think I will feel energetic!! Don`t worry about our relationship!! As I told you , we are Family. I am so happy you get a boyfriend. You really need someone to take care yourself. In addition , your boyfriend is a lucky guy beacuse you are a really special girl in the world!! Enjoy your student life!! Take care yourself!! Try to send some pictures for me!! I really want to go Sydney!! Good luck my family!! Best regards,Ken."

After this email, he quit his job, and had travelled a lot, also had sent me a lot of pictures when he travelled. Finally, he sent me the last email said that he feel tired, and want to go back Tanwan.

A very long email from one Canidian man I used to date for a few times, he is an attractive guy but emotionally suffered from choniric depression. He always feels sad, even we had some happy time together, I tried to cheer him up all the time, but finally, he quit his job , moved back to a small town and lived with his parents. The last email he sent to me on 21/02/1999 on his birthday:

"Today is my birthday, now i am working. It is 8pm and you still haven't called me by telephone, probably you are having too much fun and you have forgotten me!! well ,you have only 4 hours left and i will be disappointed with you. Also i am rostered to work on the 18th of february in the aftenoon though please still send me the time though maybe i cannot come. So maybeyou will be disappointed with me also. Though i will always remember as the chinese chessset you sent me is the only gift i recieved so far, and maybe will be the only gift. love. Brendan" Then follwed by a long poem:

">Many men have loved the bells
>you fastened to the rein,
.and everyone who wanted you
>they found what they will always want again.
>Your beauty lost to you yourself
>just as it was lost to them.
>Oh take this longing from my tongue,
>whatever useless things these hands have done.
>Let me see your beauty broken down
>like you would do for one you love.

>Your body like a searchlight
>my poverty revealed,
>I would like to try your charity
>until you cry, "Now you must try my greed."
.And everything depends upon
>how near you sleep to me
>
>Just take this longing from my tongue
>all the lonely things my hands have done.
>Let me see your beauty broken down
>like you would do for one your love.
>
>Hungry as an archway
>through which the troops have passed,
>I stand in ruins behind you,
>with your winter clothes, your broken sandal straps.
>I love to see you naked over there
>especially from the back.
>
>Oh take this longing from my tongue,
>all the useless things my hands have done,
>untie for me your hired blue gown,
>like you would do for one that you love.
>
>You're faithful to the better man,
>I'm afraid that he left.
>So let me judge your love affair
>in this very room where I have sentenced
>mine to death.
>I'll even wear these old laurel leaves
>that he's shaken from his head.
>
>Just take this longing from my tongue,
>all the useless things my hands have done,
>let me see your beauty broken down,
>like you would do for one you love. "

At that moment, I felt quite shocked by his impulsive response since we just met for a few times, and I actually didn't know him very well. I wondered if those behaviors and emotions were the symptoms of depression. However, after reading the poem, my eyes are am full of the tears. These old emails remined me that there were a lot of special peoplewho I used to know but now have lost contact with. Am I changed too much or they are too busy with their life?

New year will come, some times we want to have a fresh start, but some times there are still too many memories in our minds. Those memories indicate how we grow, and how we experience our lives. Those old emails are evidents. I am grateful for every one bring me memoriable experience in my life, I am sincerely thank you for those old emails which remind me those memories.

The meaning of the life

I remembered that in a university lecture which a famous Chinese writer "Bi Shumin" gave in Qing Hua University, a question was asked by a student" What is the meaning of the life?" The writer smiled and answered "Originally, there is no meaning of the life" The audiences were shocked. " But One has to give a meaning of one's life, there is the meaning of the life." This answer followed by a huge applauses.

How many modern society people have already found out their meaning of the life? We could see that the traditional thinking people all have stable jobs, families, friends, neibours, colleagues. Except war and poverty, most of them are living in a normal life. Maynot be very happy and exciting but at least stable and peaceful. They donot need too much. Like our grandparents and parents.The meaning of their life is to support a family, hang aound with some friends, have few hobbies, we could see they are a bit conservative. Even few of them are quite open minded, have taken some risk, have a lot adventures or contribute to the human kind, average people are living in a peace.

However, nowadays in big modern cities all around the world, the meaning of the life could sometimes be easily messed up with more money, power, statics fame , competition,& revenge. Therefore, all the negtive emotion are leading people's life: greed, jealousy, hatred, fear,sad, worry &depression.Teenagers drug, drink, suicide; families broken, sexual abuse; signle parents with few children;married men/women are having an affair; Serious comptetions in workplace, political games......We are living in a messy environment. A lot of women are not looked fiminate any more, they need to compete with other women, even men. Everybody is getting much tougher than before, because the society is too crule. A lot of men are become more inresponsible, because they are afraid to give commitment.

How many people could do the things they like to do? Being oneself has been a luxury term. People are doing things which they hate to do, they are saying somethings which they feel reluctant to say. They have to talk to some people who they really want to kill.

The definition of "meaning " is to have a purpose and is worthwhile.If we have a purpose of our life or we feel our life is real worthwhile, we would be feel happy, we would be peaceful inside, we would treat others better, we would love this world. Evey human being needs interact in the human society. However, modern society people have so much selfish desires, self-centred, donot know much about sharing, therefore, societies become cold ,competitive even cruel. Some times, we cheat on ourselves' natural inner wisdom, we are living other's meaning of the life. How could we feel happy? We may wonder what is the meaning of our life.

No matter what we choose as the meaning of the life, we should feel happy and satisfied with it, we should feel inner fulfilled and peaceful.Individual has different life, no matter how the condition is different, we should find out the purpose of the life, to respect it, explore it, enjoy it, cultivate it even share it, sacrifice it if we believe it is worth.

The facebook friends

After being invited by some "friends", I recently created a facebook. In my face book, I have 11 friends. I tried hard to post some things which I feel quite interesting and meaningful on the feeds, however, my facebook friends barely have any responses. Just like when you want to share somethings with your friends, you have beening waiting for a long time, then no body would like to share with you, they do not have interests with the things you want to share with. What would you feel? I feel a bit dispointed, then I tell meself that they might be very busy to share right now.

I logged in the facebook, all the huge communication details appeared in front of me. One of my facebook friends has already have 1,897 friends in his facebook, others at least have more than 100 friends each. I have just got 11. I feel shocked, then I paied much attention to trace their communication details. All of them are very actively participating in the team. They have been post a lot of pictures and messages to talk to each other, contents are including their daily routines, their shchedules, their happy moments & their parties with other friends. Some of them make a new friend with a person in every 8 minutes.

One of my facebook friend once posted a message that"human stupidity made him feel very upset." Indicated somethings happened in his workplace. I posted the British Philosopher-Alan Watts's speech video " The human game" and "The uninterlligent universe" to cheer him up, but he never clicked those links. And one of his facebook friend commented as " This made me very excited and I want to shake MY head." Frankly speaking, I cannot see any connection between his problem with his friend's comment.

Actually, I barely know this facebbok friend , just one time meet in airplane, had a 10 mins conversation, then changed the email addresses by his insist, then received his invitation to his facebook afer 3 days, then we became facebook friends. Another facebook friend who I met in a dancing class, just became a facebook friend after being dancing parters for 30 mins.Then I never see them again.Silly me! How could I expect that a friend met you only one time then respond to you whatever you want to share with them, they may feel uninterested or simply dislike the things which you wish to share, why they have to accept you? But I still couldn't figure out that if they are not interested in what I wish to share with them, how come they were interested in inviting me as their friends in the first place? Is this just like " Human Game" which Alan Watts pointed out?

This is a game. How come a person can make a new friends in every 8 mins? How come there is no many people discuss some deeper topics in facebook? How come they looked all try to escape from some sensitive topics, and seems all interested in each other's daily routines and schedules?When I posted that" Dear everyone, Christmas will come soon, if it is possible, please tell me you mail addressed, I will post some christmas cards to your guys." Then I gave my addresses on the facebook. But nobody even responsed to this message. Later I talked about this to one of my good friends who does not have a face book, she commented " Those guys probably think it is quite dangerous to give addresses to you who they donot know well." I argued her back" But they invited me to their face book, they should at least trust me as a friend. Plus I really want to give them my best regards." My tears came out , My friend suddenly held me , said" " Donot care too much, you have me."

I logged in my facebook on Christmas day, watching the huge communication information which are exchanging between them , their party photoes, their Christmas holiday schedules, but with other people may not in their facebook. Then I sundenly realised that people maybe donot add their "friends" in their facebook.All my real friends never invited me to their facebooks and most of them donot use a facebook Facebook friends are "far away& Convenient" friends.

I donot really like games. Human games are crule. When a person feel lonely, she/he needs friends. Facebook created a stage for many lonely people to communicate to the outside world in a shallow way, to just talk to people, but it is always better than no boday to talk. I suddenly remembered in the movie" Cast Away", Tom Hanks lived in a remote island, a volleyball named
"Wilson" became his only friend with no spirit . However, by the end, when Wilson was away from Tom, Tom felt so sad and almost die. I suppose that the facebook friends will never be like "Wilson" and Tom.

Is facebook friends, to a large degree for acquaitace, not for friendship? Or the concept of "friendship" has been changed in this modern society? I remembered , there is an old saying of definition of "friendship"-" A friend in need is a friend indeed." I do not feel that facebook friends are in need each other.Sincerity and trust should be very important factors of being friends, I cannot feel too much sincerity and trust between facebook friends. It gives me a feeling that just liking eatting fast food. But real friendship needs to be carefully cultivated.

Would it be better to buy a new notebook for the contacts of some real friends? There are too many meaningful things to do in the life.

lonely Christmas regards

My all dear friends,

Christmas will come soon, have you prepared some gifts to your family members, lovers, friends and colleagues? I know you are all need to prepare somethings to show your care and love to people you care, but do you remember me? I use one hour to find out your guys' contacts, and asked you could give me your mail addresses so that I could post some Christmas cards to your guys. And I used another 2 hours choosing some beautiful cards, another one hour to write down your names and my wishes. Then I waited for about five days for your mail addresses, but no body contact me back. I wonder that the reliability of my facebook, have you read my message? Can I receive every message you sent to me?

Anyway, Christmas will come, I couldnot post these beautiful Christmas cards without addressses, even they are full of love and regards. I try to tell myself that you guys are too busy to reply to me, or you have missed my message;maybe it is not popular to send a Christmas card nowadays;maybe I am too old fashioned; maybe it is because I am physically far away from your guys;maybe the old saying is on longer exsits in this modern society , which I strongly believe:" No matter how far away we are, we are still near each other if we really understand each other."

I am trying to stop thinking all the negtive reasons, such as, you dislike me or you just simply think I am an unimportant person. Yes, why I have to be important? But I still deeply remember so many happy hours we spent together and so many deep conversations between me and you.We used to go to parties, movies, music events, ceremonies; we used to walk along the beach with the beautiful sunset, we used to discuss, even debate for some current affairs, we used hug each other when we all feel sad or excited; we used to talk through the phone about 2 hours;we used to look inside each others eyes, just being silent and smiling.All the beautiful moments just like happened yesterday. But now, I am sitting in front of the table by my own with these cards.

Maybe this is life, even I feel incredible lonely when I hear the beautiful Christmas song, I will keep these cards with me, wish you guys receive my silent regards.

Plastic Surgery

Just heard a news that a Chinese young femal singer had done a face surgery last month, and opened this news to public yesterday. The audiences including her fans are very supporting her change. They all encourage her to "make herself better". They believe that the operation will enhance the singer's career, and as a female singer, it is essencial to be looked pretty. I always think the great voice, the inside beauty, and the quality of performance could be the important factors to measure a singer's singing strenghth. Howerver, this strength has been taking over by the outside look. This singer said that she feels much more confident than before. I wonder how a person could give a confident smile with all the plastic around the face?

Nowadays,if you look around on the street, you can easily see that most of females , particular youngers are trying to show off by wearring sexy clothes and thick make up. However, their faces looked unnatural and depressed. A attractive woman should be looked relaxed, friendly, elegant, and most of time being smiling. However, a lot of young women now looked lack of energy, seemed full of jealousy,discontented, bored, like a cold dressed-up but non emotional , non compassional doll. Especially Hong Kong women. Can Plastic Surgery make women beatiful and confident?

This is the truth that natural beauty is real beauty, confidence comes from inside not outside.Even Plastic surgery ladies can attract some audiences, for example, men who enjoy the physical pleasure, but when they touch the plastics and feel that it is not as comfortable as they see, they will run away quickly!! So why plastic surgery?Why put fake material on oneself's face or body? Painful ? Feeling unusual? Does oneself's life is to attract others, get more materalistic benefits, no worry for living, but empty inside?

Weak up, plastic ladies!